Chocolate Salami

Great Salamis of Portugal:

Chouriço
Linguiça
Farinheira
Alheira
Salpição
Morcela
Chocolate

Huh?

Yes, that's right.  Portugal is so fond of sausage, they can't resist making a candied one out of dark chocolate, tasty shortbread cookies and port wine.  It is sometimes even rolled in sugar after it is molded, because, well... the Portuguese make their SWEETS in exclamation marks.

It is another new recipe making my summer dessert line-up so maravilhoso this year. The only heat involved is melting some high quality chocolate in the microwave.  Also, there is a super fun play-with-dough component to the process.  Who can resist that?

The most important thing to remember is that this is not a time to skimp on chocolate quality.  You don't mask any of the chocolate taste in the recipe here, so the high-grade stuff will absolutely shine through.

Fancy enough for a party, rich enough for any sweet tooth, cool enough for summer, AND it looks like a salami.

Also, Bacalhau Boy can eat a whole salami in two sittings or less.  Scarfing with his bare hands.  THAT is entertainment, my friends.

Salame de Chocolate
serves 2 Bacalhau Boys, or 6 average people

8 ounces (225 grams) dark chocolate
1 sleeve of Bolacha Maria cookies (get the real deal here, or use 12-15 Nilla wafers)
2 egg yolks
1/2 tbsp unsalted butter, softened
2 tbsp sweetened condensed milk
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp salt
6 tbsp port wine

1. Melt the chocolate slowly in the microwave, taking care not to burn it.  Heat until it is partially melted, then stir to melt the rest.  Set aside to cool.

2. Place the cookies in a resealable plastic bag and break them by bashing them a bit with a rolling pin.  There should still be plenty of large chunks, don't make the mixture into crumbs.  Sprinkle with 2 tbsp of port and set aside.

3. Before proceeding, make sure the chocolate is just warm to the touch, no hotter (or you run the risk of making chocolate scrambled eggs!).  Add the eggs, butter, condensed milk, vanilla, salt, and remaining 4 tbsp of Port.  Stir well to incorporate.  The mixture will take on a dough-like consistency.

4. Add chocolate mixture to the broken cookies.  Stir to incorporate everything.

Molding the Salami:

1. Lay out a piece of aluminum foil, roughly 15" x 12".  Place a similarly-sized sheet of waxed or parchment paper on top.

2. Dump the mixture on top of the waxed paper and form it into a roughly log-like shape.  Try to make it somewhere in the ballpark of 3-4 inches in diameter to make the slices most manageable.

3. Bring salami to one side of the paper, and roll it back and forth to smooth out the surface as much as possible.  (If you want to add a sugar crust, now is the time!)

4. Roll the salami into the waxed and aluminum papers and twist the ends to close.

5. Let set in the fridge for at least 2 hours.  If you leave it in the refrigerator for more than that, take it out 15 minutes before you want to slice it.